So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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