So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
