I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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