I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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