That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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