He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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