I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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