sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
