I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.