Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?