I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast