just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.