seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
