he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
