He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
