He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
