i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
