I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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