so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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