Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He did a backflip because drugs
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
