i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
