sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
