My brain says no but my pants say off.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
