I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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