Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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