question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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