the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
