Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
