watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
