im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
