omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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