i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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