she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just found puke in my bra..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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