Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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