i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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