She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
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I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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