those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
