That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
