They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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