3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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