i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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