Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Cupcake_qu33n hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

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(716): View more from New York

Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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(330): View more from Ohio

MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

(216): View more from Ohio

I'll be there in 20 with vodka.

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(512): View more from Texas

I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.

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(407): View more from Florida

Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.

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(708): View more from Illinois

my liver is dry heaving

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(936): View more from Texas

Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.

(936): View more from Texas

Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!

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