I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
