He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
