Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
