You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
