Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
