mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
