Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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