put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he puts the penis in happiness.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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