i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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