What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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