should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
