I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
