i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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