Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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