he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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