suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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